The greatest track Little Boots never recorded?

Well, it's safe to say that things didn't go quite as planned for winner of the BBC Sound of 2009 Poll, Little Boots. Planned to be one of the biggest artists of the year, debut single New In Town missed the top ten (care of one of the worst video concepts in recent memory) before the stormer of a follow-up, Remedy, just about saved some blushes by becoming a fairly decent-sized top ten. However, the uneven album, Hands, went top five only to fall to the foot of the top forty the next week, and barely managed to shift 100,000 copies, and third single Earthquake peaked at a rather embarrassing #84 for an artist tipped to be rivalling the likes of Gaga, and instead ended up rivalling the likes of VV Brown whilst Florence and the Machine and La Roux took the glory for the UK.

Poor woman. The album was actually alright, although it suffered a bit from 'YOU'VE ALREADY LEAKED ALL THE AMAZING SHIT' Syndrome - and as such has gone down as being remembered as a disappointment while we all forget that the songs she had leaked were among the best of the last couple of years.

Fast forward to September 2010 and Popjustice feature a track from a Belarussian group named Mmadcatz on their front page, with a track named 'Puppets'. The production and the harmonies are very reminiscent of some of the darker stuff on Hands (Mathematics, in particular) - and, if they didn't know the actual artists beforehand, I'm certain you could trick somebody into believing Miss Hesketh herself was singing that chorus. It's uncanny! Anyway, I'll let you all have a listen. Let me know what you think!



What angers me more is that Belarus were sending shit like Butterflies to Eurovision this year when THIS was available. OUTRAGE.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...

After winning the X Factor, (just about) getting a #1 with his cover of Miley Cyrus's (horrific) The Climb, taking the post-Leona requisite nine months out to record an album and 'realising' he was gay in the meantime, what's Joe decided to launch with in the hope that he will go down amongst the ranks of Alexandra and Leona rather than Leon and that middle-aged cabbie who won years back?

Yes, dear readers, a cover.

But wait! It's not just any old shit, he's decided to actually go with something good!

In true X Factor male-winner fashion, Joe's decided to launch with something that was HUGE in Europe to begin with - and is also, coincidentally, one of my favourite tracks from last year (and one of my favourite videos!).


Donkeyboy - Ambitions

Amazing, yes? They spent about 12 weeks at number one in Norway last year with the track (and a similar amount of time at number one with the follow-up, Sometimes. So yeah, basically the Norwegian equivalent for the Black Eyed Peas in America last year), and were due to launch in the UK with it in March this year, but nothing came of it - bizarre, seeing as you'd have thought the track at least warranted a token BWO-esque playlisting on Radio 2 which went nowhere. However, that all makes a lot more sense when you find out that Joe's team, well...


Joe McElderry - Ambitions

I know, those live performances are going to be truly painful to behold. Overall though, I'm not quite sure what to think. I adore the track, and getting more stunning overseas tracks picked up and recognised is no bad thing (think Natalia Imbruglia's classic reworking of Ednaswap's otherwise anonymous Torn, for one), but if this is what stopped Donkeyboy from getting a proper push in the UK I can't help but be a little bit annoyed. Still, as long as it doesn't flop I'll be happy - hopefully it'll pave the way for more foreign classics being picked up! (If I don't get a cover of Margaret Berger - Will You Remember Me Tomorrow? smashing in the near future I will scream, let that be said.)

So, the best of luck to Joe. Knowing the great British public though, it'll probably flop in at #4 before crashing out while some shit like Start Without You reigns eternal. Alas!

Diamond Rings - Show Me Your Stuff

'Save your anaesthetic for the boy next door: nothing in your needle knocks me out no more.'

IT'S 90s o'CLOCK.

No, seriously. Diamond Rings, solo project of Toronto-based D'Urbervilles frontman John O'Regan, typically peddles fairly grungy, downbeat affairs (not necessarily a criticism - Wait And See is a fantastically dirty lo-fi affair, and All Yr Songs could easily stand on its own without the so-dire-it's-amazing music video that was probably literally filmed on a budget of a dollar) but with his latest release, O'Regan has really upped the ante.



Yes, that probably is the gayest thing you've watched so far today, assuming you don't start happy hour early.

On the song itself, Show Me Your Stuff is a glittery number, based around a slinky beat torn straight out of Namie Amuro's iconic 80s homage What A Feeling and a house piano melody that sounds like it was intended to have you partying like it's 1994, topped with O'Regan's gorgeous New Romantic bass delivery. And that's before we've even gotten to the chorus. Oh my, the chorus (which doesn't come in until the 2:15 mark. Yes, it's one of those tracks.) All the aforementioned elements start ramping up in the bridge with some extra synthy swizzles, before it all falls away into a piano middle eight peppered with biting lines such as the one subtitling this blog (In case you hadn't noticed: Amazing.) before dramatically exploding into the chorus, with all the elements which made the verses so amazing going into absolute hyperdrive. Already your jaw's on the floor that an indie darling such as O'Regan has had the audacity to record something so shamelessly pop, and this is all before you've even heard the bat-shit-insane second middle eight, a...somewhat cartoonish affair at once equally dire and amazing.

All in all, Show Me Your Stuff is a slice of 90s pastiche that simply cannot be missed, and if it's anything to go by O'Regan's solo effort could be the shock indie-pop album of the year.

*****

I retract my previous retirement...

...as frankly, I wasn't getting much done on EITHER blog. So, I'm back like a cheap Taiwanese hooker. That insists on posting random Chinese messages on my long-abandoned blogposts. What of it?

So, what poptasticness have I been listening to during my lengthy absence?

Scissor Sisters - Night Work

Well, obviously. Sex and Violence has staked a claim to being one of the greatest tracks of the year thus far, with its dramatic bass piano chords slashing into a chillingly psychopathic set of lyrics delivered in a double-takingly calm and collected fashion by Mr Shears himself in his spine-tingling bass register. Gorgeous. Though terrifying, of course. Tracks like Sex and Violence tend to be the highlights of any album they go on, but its a testament to the sheer quality contained within this album that it is equalled several times throughout the long player! Album of the year, no contest.

Kylie Minogue - Aphrodite

Well, All The Lovers is undoubtedly THE track of the year (so far, at least - and an honourable mention must go to the poppers o'clock-tastic remix from Fear of Tigers), but the rest of the album is...a mixed bag. Although it is of course Dame Kylie's best album in years (since Fever? Probably.), we must not let loondom blind us to the fact that there is filler present here. Not, of course, that that should get in the way of the albums highlights - the divine Illusion being one, along with Get Outta My Way, which plays like a far more mature Wow which has discovered its true sexuality and hit the clubs for the first time. However, the stand-out of the LP has to go to the unrivalled Cupid Boy; the verses a dark, seductive affair layered with Minogue's velveteen coos and a shimmering, smouldering electronic bass backing, before launching into a crescendo of electronic stabs in the bridge and a relentless rave charge of a chorus topped off with Kylie's frozen-sugar cries (one presumes her claims to be in Heaven are a rather gloriously unsubtle metaphor, especially when coupled with such crescendoes in the music). Luciana's influence is unmistakeable (I want a demo!), and Cupid Boy goes down as Kylie's greatest track since...well, All The Lovers (but still, what a pedigree!).

Nabiha - Cracks
Now we have the obvious candidates out of the way, we can move onto the discoveries! Nabiha Bensouda is a Danish popstress with an album spanning a wide range of genres that I would strongly advise you to check out. You may already be familiar with Popjustice-backed Deep Sleep, an energetic, retro-esque job released in Denmark in September last year, but far more intriguing are highlights The Enemy, which does the whole retro-energy job far more effectively and puts the likes of VV Brown to shame; You, a brooding little number with verses layered with Nabiha's coquettish coos and a mesmerising hook, before breaking down into an absolute synth and string explosion, which is definitely one of the tracks of 2010; and Boomerang, an infectious, almost a cappella, handclap-laden track with an irresistible percussive hook. Though the album tails off slightly towards the end, Nabiha displays real pop potential, and her album is definitely one of the must-listens of the year.

Nabiha - You by tyronwilson

The You Know Who - Dance Tonight

Anybody else love When You Were Young by The Killers? American duo The You Know Who (backed by Swedish production values, natch, as all the best music is) have come damned lose to a lawsuit with the shimmering, 80s-tastic Dance Tonight, which ghosts the aforementioned track scarily in the intro, the instrumentation...well, listen below, but either way, I'm not holding it against them - it's brilliant!

The You Know Who - Dance Tonight by tyronwilson

For those still interested...

...I've decided to change my blogging habits. I've converted to the far more convenient and far more fun Tumblr if any of you want to see my general life musings and occasional musical rantings! You can follow me at trashlexis.tumblr.com.

Trashlexis' Top 101 of the 00s

This is the point at which you all throw abuse at me for being such a lazy shit. I CARE.

001 // Nelly Furtado – Try (2004)
002 // La Roux – Quicksand (2008)
003 // Britney Spears – Toxic (2004)
004 // Goldfrapp – A&E (2008)
005 // Rihanna; Jay-Z – Umbrella (2007)
006 // Kelis; André 3000 – Millionaire (2004)
007 // Margaret Berger – Will You Remember Me Tomorrow? (2006)
008 // Britney Spears – Everytime (2004)
009 // Lady GaGa – Bad Romance (2009)
010 // Jamelia – Beware of the Dog (2006)

011 // Girls Aloud – Sound of the Underground (2002)
012 // OutKast – Hey Ya! (2003)
013 // No Doubt – It’s My Life (2003)
014 // La Roux – In For The Kill (2009)
015 // Camille – Money Note (2008)
016 // Röyksopp; Robyn – The Girl and the Robot (2009)
017 // Kelis; Cee-Lo – Lil Star (2007)
018 // Kelly Clarkson – Sober (2007)
019 // Ladytron – Destroy Everything You Touch (2005)
020 // Snow Patrol – Run (2004)

021 // Florence and the Machine – Cosmic Love (2009)
022 // Little Boots – Remedy (2009)
023 // Lady GaGa – Poker Face (2009)
024 // Scissor Sisters – It Can’t Come Quickly Enough (2004)
025 // Rachel Stevens – I Said Never Again (2005)
026 // Mary J. Blige – Be Without You (2005)
027 // Kylie Minogue – I Believe In You (2004)
028 // Avril Lavigne – Keep Holding On (2006)
029 // Serebro – Song #1 (2007)
030 // The Pirates; Ishani; Naila Boss; Shola Ama; Enya – You Should Really Know (2004)

031 // Rihanna – SOS (2006)
032 // Brandy – Afrodisiac (2004)
033 // Sugababes – About You Now (2007)
034 // Portishead – The Rip (2008)
035 // Alizée – Moi Lolita (2002)
036 // La Roux – Bulletproof (2009)
037 // Nelly Furtado – All Good Things (2006)
038 // Robyn – Keep This Fire Burning (2002)
039 // Gnarls Barkley – Crazy (2006)
040 // Shakira – Whenever, Wherever (2002)

041 // Janet Jackson – All For You (2001)
042 // Santigold – L.E.S. Artistes (2008)
043 // Mika – Happy Ending (2007)
044 // Infernal – Self Control (2006)
045 // Scissor Sisters – I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ (2006)
046 // Amy Winehouse – You Know I’m No Good (2007)
047 // Alicia Keys – Fallin’ (2001)
048 // Mariah Carey – We Belong Together (2005)
049 // Gwen Stefani – Hollaback Girl (2005)
050 // Paloma Faith – New York (2009)

051 // OutKast – Ms. Jackson (2001)
052 // Miley Cyrus – See You Again [Rock Mafia Remix] (2008)
053 // Bon Iver – Skinny Love (2008)
054 // Kelis – Caught Out There (2000)
055 // Samantha Mumba – Always Come Back To Your Love (2000)
056 // No Doubt; Bounty Killer – Hey Baby (2003)
057 // Evanescence – Bring Me To Life (2003)
058 // Eminem; Dido – Stan (2000)
059 // Pet Shop Boys – Love, etc. (2009)
060 // Gwen Stefani – Wonderful Life (2006)

061 // Christina Aguilera – Ain’t No Other Man (2006)
062 // Amy Winehouse – Rehab (2006)
063 // Agnes – Release Me [Extended Mix] (2009)
064 // Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love (2007)
065 // Melanie C – I Turn To You [Hex Hector Radio Mix] (2000)
066 // Christina Aguilera – Beautiful (2003)
067 // OutKast – B.O.B. (2000)
068 // Melanie C; Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopez – Never Be The Same Again (2000)
069 // M.I.A. – Paper Planes (2007)
070 // Muse – Knights of Cydonia (2006)

071 // Snow Patrol; Martha Wainwright – Set The Fire To The Third Bar (2006)
072 // Ciara; Missy Elliott – One, Two Step (2005)
073 // Beyoncé – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) (2009)
074 // Avril Lavigne – When You’re Gone (2007)
075 // Britney Spears – Amnesia (2008)
076 // Britney Spears – Born To Make You Happy (2000)
077 // Missy Elliott – Pass That Dutch (2003)
078 // Sugababes – Hole In The Head (2003)
079 // Aaliyah – More Than A Woman (2002)
080 // Nelly Furtado – Powerless (2003)

081 // Hercules and Love Affair; Antony Hegarty – Blind (2008)
082 // Sam Sparro – Black & Gold (2008)
083 // Kate Nash – Foundations (2007)
084 // Nelly Furtado – I’m Like A Bird (2001)
085 // Muse – Hysteria (2003)
086 // Samantha Mumba – Gotta Tell You (2000)
087 // Holly Valance – Kiss Kiss (2002)
088 // Beyoncé; Jay-Z – Crazy In Love (2003)
089 // Black Eyed Peas – My Humps (2005)
090 // Death Cab For Cutie – I Will Follow You Into The Dark (2005)

091 // Janet Jackson – Feedback (2008)
092 // Ke$ha – TiK ToK (2009)
093 // Priscilla Renea – Dollhouse (2009)
094 // Britney Spears – Womanizer (2008)
095 // Christina Aguilera; Redman – Dirrty (2002)
096 // Jamiroquai – Seven Days In Sunny June (2005)
097 // Stereophonics – Dakota (2005)
098 // Beyoncé – Sweet Dreams (2009)
099 // Beyoncé – Diva (2009)
100 // The Pussycat Dolls; Timbaland – Wait A Minute (2006)
101 // The 411 – Dumb (2004)

HATAHS CAN START CRITICISING NOW.

Kylie // 'The Greatest Album of All Time' (working title, album unconfirmed, release date TBA)

God, look how much Botox she's pumped into those lips.

Oh, right, you wanted me to post about her MUSIC. Well, I heard a rumour a while ago that Kylie was set to record a cover of this year's fabulous but tragically universally-ignored The Girl and the Robot by umlaut-tastic electro-ambiencepoppers Röyksopp featuring the delightfully ubiquitous (well, in THIS genre at least) vocal talents of Robyn. As the end-of-year/decade lists become, well, less delightfully ubiquitous, attention of course focuses on the more spectacularly universal tracks, of which the aforementioned track devoted to femme avec robot is one.

So, I was taken by a thought inspired whilst listening to Miike Snow's Plastic Jungle, which I thought bore more than a passing resemblence (in a more lo-fi, trashy, parodical way) to the also once less delightfully ubiquitous Can't Get You Out of My Head (how horrifically prescient that song title turned out to be!), and then...an idea was forged.

Yes, you guessed it. A 2CD Kylie album devoted to covering flop electropop tracks.

Obviously such a confection shall never come to the light of day, but in my head she just sent out a press release announcing the tracklisting to be as follows (and one resplete with YouTube links for those of us unfamiliar with the originals, how thoughtful of her!), and I personally cannot wait.

01 // Vinegar (original by Anna Abreu)
02 // Chelsea (original by Stefy)
03 // What A Feeling (original by Namie Amuro)
04 // Bossy (original by Lindsay Lohan)
05 // Reprogram My Heart (original by Linda Teodosiu)
06 // Hello Heartbreak (original by Michelle Williams)
07 // Can't Let Go (original by Linda Kiraly)
08 // Pick Me Up (original by Emilia de Poret)
09 // Chewing Gum (original by Annie)
10 // Into the Nightlife (original by Cyndi Lauper)
11 // I Know UR Girlfriend Hates Me (original by Annie)
12 // Method of Modern Love (original by Saint Etienne)

01 // The Girl and the Robot (original by Röyksopp ft. Robyn)
02 // You Made Your Bed (original by Red Blooded Women)
03 // Plastic Jungle (original by Miike Snow)
04 // One Word (original by Kelly Osbourne)
05 // Anthonio (original by Annie)
06 // Will You Remember Me Tomorrow? (original by Margaret Berger)
07 // Mysterious (original by Isabel Guzman)
08 // Destroy Everything You Touch (original by Ladytron)
09 // Baptized By Fire (original by Spinnerette)
10 // Winter Rose (original by Firefox AK)
11 // Magic (original by Ladyhawke)
12 // Embrace (original by PNAU ft. Ladyhawke)

As I'm sure you can all see, singles would be almost impossible to choose (they all deserved to be hits the first time around!). However, my preferred order would PROBABLY be something along the lines of The Girl and the Robot > Will You Remember Me Tomorrow? > Destroy Everything You Touch > Into the Nightlife > Embrace/Magic double A-side. Even that, which is oriented towards covering most of the flavours and moods on the album, still misses out a lot of the mood on the first CD, so it would obviously be quite difficult and very open to the prospect of the record label being absolute twats with single choices.

But seriously, someone put me in touch with her publicist. THIS MUST HAPPEN.