God, look how much Botox she's pumped into those lips.
Oh, right, you wanted me to post about her MUSIC. Well, I heard a rumour a while ago that Kylie was set to record a cover of this year's fabulous but tragically universally-ignored The Girl and the Robot by umlaut-tastic electro-ambiencepoppers Röyksopp featuring the delightfully ubiquitous (well, in THIS genre at least) vocal talents of Robyn. As the end-of-year/decade lists become, well, less delightfully ubiquitous, attention of course focuses on the more spectacularly universal tracks, of which the aforementioned track devoted to femme avec robot is one.
So, I was taken by a thought inspired whilst listening to Miike Snow's Plastic Jungle, which I thought bore more than a passing resemblence (in a more lo-fi, trashy, parodical way) to the also once less delightfully ubiquitous Can't Get You Out of My Head (how horrifically prescient that song title turned out to be!), and then...an idea was forged.
Yes, you guessed it. A 2CD Kylie album devoted to covering flop electropop tracks.
Obviously such a confection shall never come to the light of day, but in my head she just sent out a press release announcing the tracklisting to be as follows (and one resplete with YouTube links for those of us unfamiliar with the originals, how thoughtful of her!), and I personally cannot wait.
01 // Vinegar (original by Anna Abreu)
02 // Chelsea (original by Stefy)
03 // What A Feeling (original by Namie Amuro)
04 // Bossy (original by Lindsay Lohan)
05 // Reprogram My Heart (original by Linda Teodosiu)
06 // Hello Heartbreak (original by Michelle Williams)
07 // Can't Let Go (original by Linda Kiraly)
08 // Pick Me Up (original by Emilia de Poret)
09 // Chewing Gum (original by Annie)
10 // Into the Nightlife (original by Cyndi Lauper)
11 // I Know UR Girlfriend Hates Me (original by Annie)
12 // Method of Modern Love (original by Saint Etienne)
01 // The Girl and the Robot (original by Röyksopp ft. Robyn)
02 // You Made Your Bed (original by Red Blooded Women)
03 // Plastic Jungle (original by Miike Snow)
04 // One Word (original by Kelly Osbourne)
05 // Anthonio (original by Annie)
06 // Will You Remember Me Tomorrow? (original by Margaret Berger)
07 // Mysterious (original by Isabel Guzman)
08 // Destroy Everything You Touch (original by Ladytron)
09 // Baptized By Fire (original by Spinnerette)
10 // Winter Rose (original by Firefox AK)
11 // Magic (original by Ladyhawke)
12 // Embrace (original by PNAU ft. Ladyhawke)
As I'm sure you can all see, singles would be almost impossible to choose (they all deserved to be hits the first time around!). However, my preferred order would PROBABLY be something along the lines of The Girl and the Robot > Will You Remember Me Tomorrow? > Destroy Everything You Touch > Into the Nightlife > Embrace/Magic double A-side. Even that, which is oriented towards covering most of the flavours and moods on the album, still misses out a lot of the mood on the first CD, so it would obviously be quite difficult and very open to the prospect of the record label being absolute twats with single choices.
But seriously, someone put me in touch with her publicist. THIS MUST HAPPEN.
OMFG, she also needs to cover Cheyne Coates' "Taste U" immediately, if not sooner!!
ReplyDeleteI realize this comment is horribly, horribly late, but THAT POST TITLE COULD NOT BE MORE APPROPRIATE. I may just have to turn this into an iTunes playlist.
ReplyDelete